When I was four, I wanted to be a fashion designer. I pictured myself engulfed in huge ballerina skirts, snake-like scarves, and sparkly heels just like my grandma’s. I was loud, and crazy, and free – and I wasn’t afraid to be. I mean, at that age, there was really nothing to stop me.
People would clap and cheer when I would do something as little as getting a multiplication problem correct and I would feel like the coolest four year old alive. My grandma used to always laugh at the way I strutted through the hallways and held my head up high in my “lounge attire,” aka my favorite Sleeping Beauty princess dress and heels.
I never felt empty or scared. I never felt like I needed more.
When I turned thirteen, I wanted to be a physical therapist. I became obsessed with the idea of conforming to my ideal self. Someone who was insanely smart, pretty, and athletic, I mean, every girl my age did. But it became more than that. I would look into the mirror and pick individual things out about myself that I didn’t like. It transformed into this drive to have a thigh gap, to be curvy but only in the right places, to have flawless skin. I had this idea that if I helped other people with their physical issues, then maybe I could take my mind off of the things I struggled with personally.
When I turned seventeen, I wanted to be myself. I came to the realization that I was very insecure and I struggled to speak when I needed to, so I used writing as an outlet to say what I wouldn’t in real life. I learned that everyday is truly a learning experience. Everyday I look at myself in a different light and I am exposed to so many different sights, sounds, and individuals. I’m continuing to learn about what I want and who I strive to be, and I feel like that’s the whole point of this amazing thing we call life.
I don’t want to be a fashion designer, or a physical therapist, or simply a writer. I want to experience everything I’m passionate about in life and I want to continue to change and evolve. This blog, and the viewers who may or may not read this, is an outlet for me to express myself freely, to invite you all into all of my little adventures, and continue to progress in the world.
I am seventeen years old. I am a socially awkward, fashion loving, art obsessive teenager. I am here to write, whether or not it is even read, and I am here to do it with passion. I am Jady Reiko Ojiri and I formally welcome you to the depths of my mind.